Did you miss me?

So it has been a few days so let's catch up..
This past wkend was great Friday I went to OKC with my bf and gambled all night. Saturday I went out to eat with the bf. Sunday I went to the zoo with my son my little brothers and my bf.
Ok so now its Tuesday I was feeling down about this weight thing until I stumbled across this blog http://tearsnomore87.blogspot.com/. This chick keeps it 100 and is not about the whining.. You have to first believe in yourself and get off your ass to make ANYTHING happen.. You have to set realistic goals and stick to them.. Realize that that one cheeseburger a week will set you back .. You have to be consistent and with consistency you will see results.. Its nothing that happens over night so you also have to be patient.. With that being said I have a new outlook on this situation and a lot better grasp.

Hair: I bantu'd my hair up Monday morning and it is still in the knots have not taken them down yet.. I will post pics when I take it down..

Productivity

So today I got some stuff done.. [WHEW].. Filled out my Fasfa and planned my classes for the upcoming semester which starts Aug. 23rd! I am so ready for these classes. The quicker I get them and take them the closer I will be to my goal.

I decided to water my grass in my front yard and whatdoyaknow.. I couldn't turn the damn water off for a cool 30 minutes. I cannot do ANYTHING in that yard to save my life.. I ended up going next door to my neighbors to get it turned off. Pitiful? Yes, I know. Not to mention I was later informed by said neighbor that I was not even supposed to be watering my grass.. [between 10am - 6pm] Sheesh!! And I was all waving to the police cars that passed by wondering why they were looking at me all crazy.. LMAO boy i tell ya!

Talked to my father today, this is a rare but refreshing occasional thing. He reminds me of myself so much even though I did not grow up around him and can probably count how many times I have been in his presence. Nonetheless, its a beautiful work in progress, a WIP!

HAIR:

I will be washing my hair today, I've worn a puff for the past few days and loved it.. Probably will rock one all next week too.

SHOPPING:

Looking for a new digital camera.. I will not be buying any clothes until I drop some of this dreadful weight.. Buying more bigger clothes will only get me comfortable.. So I will wear stuff that is too tight to remind me to shed these pounds.. It seems IMPOSSIBLE, and with stressing it prob is.. So I will be working on not stressing as much [[this shall be a task]]

Booty Doo

So I have come to the awful realization that my shape is anything but flattering, not long ago I could not lose or gain weight.. I stayed at the same size give or take 2-3 pounds.. Well here recently i have gained 15 pounds in about 6 months.. I was not happy with my size before the weight gain so u can only gander that I am MISERABLE now.. I have been working out, eating smaller portions, and cutting back on sodas and fast food.. So how has my weight changed? It has NOT I am so determined NOT to quit, but u guys it is so very HARD. All i ever think about is my weight and my size and the way clothes fit.. I am honestly exhausted by doing so. I don't know what is wrong with my stupid body but I am only 23 (soon to be 24 in Aug.) with the body of an out of shape 40 something lady. I am losing all sanity.. I am not meant to be a big girl and by looking at me you can tell. ALL of my weight is in my stomach no big flabby arms, thighs just now starting to touch with the new weight gain.. I am baffled and highly perturbed about getting this yuck off of my body.
[[This entry was to vent, share, and encourage. Maybe some of you are having or have had this issue, if so plz do share]] ;o)

The Title-less

Got up this morning and felt awesome took down my bantu knots and put em up in a puff. LOVE it! Hit the gym HARD and still feeling great afterwards.. i decided to check out someof the blogs of my KISS sisters and kick back and relax. I'll be off to pick up my lil guy pretty soon here.. In the meantime I'll be checking out more blogs (-;

Time Sure FLIES

So it has almost been an entire year since my last post.. it really does not seem that long to be honest.. Things are in constant change around me and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I am currently without a job. I have had a job since i was 16 so this is a first, and I would just like to say i HATE it... I am staying focused though and on a constant job hunt.

<3 <3IN OTHER NEWS....

HAIR: Last Perm was in early MAY but my new growth is already out of control!!!! So I decided to try new transition and non heat styles so check out
My first bantu knot...













Tell me what cha' think ;0)
AND.....


WORKOUT: @ least 1 hr on tread mill a day 5 days per week
100 Squats and 100 Jumping Jacks per day

Wow

So my workout yesterday is getting to me.. Gosh my buns are sore.. Lol, goes to show I have not used those muscles in a while.. Getting ready for work.. Dreading the fact that when I get off I need to prep for a much needed garage sale.. I could just give it all to Goodwill, but... Ok here comes the story.. A co worker of mine lost her apartment and was doing really bad and claimed she had no family to help her.. So being the kind hearted woman I am I told her she could stay with me since I have a 3 br home and was not using the room. Well she came and stayed one wkend about 6 months into her staying there and not saving any money to get back on her own two feet.. She went to visit her sister (no family, yeah right) and never returned... She left EVERYTHING.. Bed, lap top, and clothes.. Important papers and all. I asked this child to come and get her belongings numerous of times.. It has been 8 months now.. Alot of ppl say i am beyond nice and that I should have put it out on the side of the road, because she used me.. But I held on to it hoping she would come get it.. Ok so I am over being nice so now I am selling everything for a dollar. I do not care what it is... And as for the lap top and bed, well I am keeping those.. She did not pay her measly 150 in rent the last 2 months anyway..So there. O so yesterday I was off and I got alot accomplished.. I got the car washed redecorated the living room, kitchen and my br.. went on an interview and registered for University of Phoenix.. So I am proud of myself.. Not much of a day off but ah well that's how it goes..

The ppl in your life you feel you cannot live without, CAN and WILL do just fine without YOU..

Just came back from running one mile and walking another.. Showered, washed my hair, updated twitter,fb, and myspace and got to thinking.. Being a black female the longevity of our friendships are often short lived. Well about a year ago I was one of few that could say I had the same 2 bffs for 13 years. all the way through jr high and high school and so on.. Well after I had my son I was the only one with a kid, so my priorities changed from theirs so they got closer while I handled my responsibilities.. This is not to say that I did not hang out anymore but did it in moderation.. I too had a long term relationship which neither had not.. So my views on dating and the problems that go along with sticking to it also changed. Soo we were on different wave lengths.. So the moment I mess up and do something that was "wrong" I got the boot. This has never happened normally we cannot live with out talking to each other for a day.. We patched things up after THREE MONTHS, but it was never the same and now have drifted even more apart to the point we do not talk at all. This is very sad to me because I love them and I miss them being apart of my life. But at other times I'm like fuck it.. Just thought that me blogging would help release some of these feelings. Thanks for letting me share.

What a Wkend!

So, my bday week I took off for vay-k... Well, they worked my butt off when I got back! Lol 8 days straight.. Then I had the busiest wkend.. Saturday I worked then went to my Best friend's bby daughter's 4th bday party then got my lil cuzins nails done and did her hair.. Sunday (today) I was off but no rest went shopping for my son's Isaiah uniforms for his private school/daycare.. Got him some shoes too.. Picked up my lil cousin and got her eyebrows arched.. Not to mention that it was tax free wkend so it was beyond chaotic... Then to dinner with my coworkers on my manager.. My boo spent the day with us too and it was FANTASTIC.. Love him to death.. Now I should be in the bed.. Need to get up early and get registered for class in the morning..

Call me Micheal Jordan or Lebron.. I'm so 23!

Sooo my birthday was AWESOME! Last year I said that I would just skip the day for all of eternity and not celebrate it.. But I woke up that morning and had a change of heart.. I know that some of my loved ones and even those that I do not know never got to see 23...And for them I celebrated! Didn't do much but it was enough.. My brothers sung and played drums for me (they are 6 and 9) while my son danced! This was a treat to say the least.. Then my mother took me out to lunch my boyfriend (Isaiah's father) came as well.. Red Lobster though I hated my selection the laughs were priceless. THEN my father whom I get to see only a handful of times a year if any (things are getting better) asked me to lunch... SOO me not liking my food at Red Lobster came in handy cause I was out to eat again.. This time Cheddars mmm.. Had a great time with he and his wife(she and I rarely get along).. Laughed until I cried! They are soo funny! Then I headed back home my best friend took me for drinks along with one of my coworkers... Then a very nasty turn to my day.. My best friend begged me to go to one of her jump offs house where there were supposed to be plenty of folk watching the Cowboy preseason game (i hate football) I gave in and went.. There was NO ONE there but he and his cousin.. She ended up in the back room with him screeching for an hour!!! Then I came home let the boyfriend know that I made it to my crib he came over.. And he decided to "play" when I asked him to hold me... So I went to sleep..But the times with my family outweighed the bad moments.. Shout out to all the angels! O and the party does NOT stop there.. PARTY PARTY PARTY Fri-Sun! YAAAY MEEE taking my angels with me.. Peace

Back for the 1st Time

Haven't been on lately..

I have been looking at other's blogs and I must say I feel very untalented..

And me being a true LEO I must excel in everything!

LOL, no I'm serious..

Well my birthday is coming around very soon here Thursday to be exact..

I'll be that good ole 23..

Never been 23 but I'm sure it'll be a good year for me..

Been walking every day for the past 3 days..

Which is a good stretch..

Consistency is not one of my Strong points, but I am getting better.

And being a sexier me is a goal now..

Watch out!

Stepping that up and my Blog Spot so get ready honey!

R.I.P. MJ

The tribute today was beautiful to say the least. Micheal will be missed ang his legend will live on. He touched many lives and I believe through his music this will always hold truth. Rest in Peace Mike. They finally have no choice but to leave you alone. My heart goes out to all the lives he touched and especially his family.

KEEPiNG iT 2GETHER

To say that I am family oriented is an understatement. My family means EVERYTHING to me and I would do anything in my power to protect or help each and every one of them. My family is going through some very trying times but the devil is nothing but a liar and he can't have ANY 1 of us. We have GOD on our side and with him on our team we will always prevail. Staying strong and [KEEPiNG iT 2GETHER].. I welcome your prayers.

[BRiGHTER NOTE]

I had a phone interview that went very well. And I am most confident that my economic struggle may see its last day soon. SMiLES :)

Praying 4 a New Slate

Things have not been bad lately but they have not been good either. I feel that I am slowly losing all self motivation.. I only do what I HAVE to do only WHEN I have to.. Which means alot of things are not being done that NEED to be done. This is not usually in my character, and it scares me. I talked to one of my employees about this and her answer was that I am TIRED of being responsible because I have had to be so long and before my time. This may hold truth but I have no time to be TIRED I have stuff to do! I have a son and I have goals that need to be met.. So the answer is simple some may think. Get up off my bum and do it huh? Well I wish it was as easy as it sounds... I really think that there may be something wrong. Or may have been something wrong. Maybe realizing it is the beginning of me getting back on track.Lord I sure hope so.. Work is a DRAG, I was getting at least 75 hours every 2 weeks I may get 45 now. So that is a strain. Isaiah is away @ my Mom's every night due to the "summer arrangement" we have. The one that helps her and me. Ever since my Mom's divorce I try to be there as much as possible for her and my siblings. Tiring at times but they are all I have. I also feel like I am missing out on being young. I don't go out and party or even hang out.. Sometimes I think that this is a good thing because of all the trouble alot of ppl my age get into being "young" I don't know if anybody is reading this please pray for me. Pray that I find the way.

[[LAzY GiRL]]

So I worked 13 hours yesterday and as a result I did not wake up till NooN today! 5 hours overtime! Whoo hoo! Now if I could just do that once a week! Man I tell you I would feel as if I were rolling in it! Well today has brought a sense of calm over me. And to be quite honest I can tell you why. All of a sudden I love my life. I love everything about life in general! Lifes lessons the whole kit and kaboodle. I just spoke to my father on the phone a lil while ago and I tell you it was really nice hearing from him. Seems to me as if he has gotten his life together and I am very pleased with this. && my birth father whom I love very dearly but do not know as well as i would like called and left me a vm asking me to lunch tommrow. I am a little bummed that I will not be able to join him b/c I will b at work. U would think that this is y I feel so liberated.. hearing from those two but to be honest I felt good before this. Maybe I got enought rest today,perhaps? I feel that God is working on me and those around him. >>>>> Isaiah's barber whom he has been going to since his first haircut passed over the wkend.. My uncle passed.. and about a month ago my little brother's best friend passed. I know that death happens everyday but it has seldom happened to those around me... I know that this is a blessing and I greatly appreciate it. The thing that gets me is that one was a 6 yr old, drowned.. Our barber 30 something also drowned.. U seldom expect the death of the young. Rest in Peace Jack, Bryce, and Uncle..

As of now...

Thought I might jot something down right quick before I go an pick Isaiah up from school.

Memorial Day was fun... Went to my Aun/t house... Laughted so much I got a stomach ache and

I spit my soda out all on my auntie's couch.. Damn shame... but all in all it was a really good time.

I love those girls! Dejaun went with us double (+). We came home and he cooked, watched the

game and visited his friend Jason's house. I passed out on the couch.. O and not to mention I

worked that morning and they let me off 2 hours early! So I had a Fantabolous Memorial Day!

Still Up

Well normally I am in bed.. I am VERY tired but have not yet drifted off to sleep. I still have not

seen dEjUaN... n i don't like it... Work was a lil chaotic today... did some light shopping

today then went to Rachel's bday Din Din it was nice VERY pretty place, hv to mk sure I tell the

h0n3y about it.... Isaiah's "school" situation is driving me nuts-zo... Too tired to go into depth will

be sure to on my nxt post 2mmra.. Hoping sleep falls on me soon, very soon.

@ my Aunt's for the night

So I have always been pretty aware of me being a spoiled brat...(ii go n get it myself if no one

else does). I grew up spoiled and now I spoil myself... This evening i WANTED some fried

CATFISH. I drove for 45 min to different catfish spots around Dallas and they were ALL closed

(5 diff places to b exact)... Did not get any fish and was darn near on the verge of having a bitch

fit... Now that I think about it this is kinda funny. Wow my boyfriend must REALLY love me to

put up with this... But honestly I think he thinks it is cute, being able to deliver when no one else

can. I {**heart**} him so much... I have not laid eyes on him the ENTIRE wkend! Cannot wait till I

do... Well Isaiah WAS sleep but now he is up and singing a series of songs... CATNAPS are no no

no good. This lil boy may be up till 4am.

The WEEKEND baby

So my wkend was a BLAST. Friday night I went out for drinks with my Best bud

Dion... Got all dressed up [the whole 9] We had fun we always do. Then

Saturday morn I had to go to work got off at 3:30 and it was raining really really

bad. I had to get out in it anyway because I was hosting a surprise Bday party for

a close co worker of mine. She has NEVER had a birthday party because she grew

up in foster care and what not... I heard this and HAD to do something about it...

It was cute we did a "kid" theme and everything. Came home grabbed Isaiah the

KING and went to sleep. Woke up around 10:30 this morning which is really

saying something cause I NEVER sleep past 8 nowadays. Ate a lil something

watched my FAVORITE moving [Why Do Fools Fall In Love] and put Isaiah

down for a nap and I am about to climb right behind him.... I can feel myself

slipping into a bout of depression... over simple girly stuff... [wnt longer hair,

want to lose 30 pounds etc] But if anyone is reading this pray for me... Cause

when I get in those moods.. Boy do I get //consumed// by those moods. Which

is not CUTE. Well off to my nap..

Oops my bad.

So I kinda said in my first post waaay back in October of 08 that I would keep up with this.. Yeah

so I have kind of sucked at doing so... But not to dwell on that.. I will do {better} .

Updates::

I am still a tech.. still living in the same spot.. Isaiah is 3 now and he and his father are STILL together!

**Everything is Everything** I take each day a day at a time. I have had quite a few rough

patches since the last post.. bouts of depression... wanting to give up, but the devil is {nothing}

but a liar.

I gave ALL my worries and doubts to HIM. Only trouble that I am having is completely letting

go... its a work in progress, but there is {progress} . This whole recession thing is scary to say the

least. I am currently cut down to 20 hours a week when I usually work 35+..I STILL have a

mortgage and a child to feed and not to mention OTHER bills to maintain but like i said I am

getting by. I am in a happy place in my life and refuse things to stress or get me down.Stepping

out of the way and ready to receive my blessing(s).

Numero Uno

Wow so this is my very first blog and I am excited. I believe this is waaaay over due and plan to keep up with this as much as possible. Umm about me my name is Antwanetta Marshay I am 22 yrs young have a 2 soon to be 3 year old son Isaiah Dejuan who is my heart and soul. I am in college striving to be an either Physician Assistant (PA) or a Pharmacist. I am currently a certified Pharmacy Technician here in Texas. Isaiah and his father Dejaun are still together but not yet married going 4 years strong. We are taking tings slow I mean with the divorce rate why not. He and i both agree when we get married it will be till death do us part the way it is meant to be. So we are taking time to work out kinks before we jump in head first.